The types of professors you will have
This professor is Mr/s. Serious 24/7. A joke has not been found that is funny enough to bring any bit of humorous joy into this person’s life. Save your ‘dog at my homework’ excuses for your other professor’s, this one isn’t buying any of your sob stories. They are professor’s of integrity. You do your work, they’re fine. Don’t do your work, they’re fine - but you’re not. They have little understanding as to why this material isn’t getting through your head. It’s just rocket science, it’s not that hard. Maybe if you spent less time texting your friends, watching tv, facebook stalking your ex, listening to your dubstep, and sleeping, you’d have time to do the assignments. You turned in your assignment at 12:01 pm? No worries; late, twenty points off.
The Ice Cube
This cool professor has got your back. They know the stresses that college life can bring; hell, they’ve been there. All they ask is that you’re honest with them and everything is usually cool. Seriously, tell them you forgot about the assignment because you were hungover, they’ll be okay with it. Just make sure to turn it in asap. The chill prof doesn’t mind to divulge information about their own college days, being sure to give out the details of the most important aspects: the parties. S/he is also hip to current trends and owns every tech gadget you do. They even have a facebook! Don’t worry about coming to class near breaks, they’ll cancel them knowing no one will show up anyway.
Teach? No way, that’s what TA’s and labs are for. The slacker is the professor that makes you wonder just how easy it is to obtain a PhD and procure a teaching position. You even become a bit envious of their situation. They come to class, late as usual, disheveled in appearance and seemingly unprepared. You discuss topics completely unrelated to the course objectives and leave with a sense of… anti-achievement(?) Later on in the semester you begin to think the class a waste of time and contemplate skipping every meeting, until that very day the professor implements a attendance policy, “Because too many of you aren’t coming to class.” You wonder why. The slacker is the professor who will have you cursing the system for not only allowing this person a job, but for forcing you to attend a semester-long course in which you don’t learn anything. To add icing on the cake, the slacker gives out a final exam. Good luck.
The dramatic categorizes those professors who over-exaggerate everything. Hyperbole may be their middle name. If one student is late to class then the entire learning agenda must be halted to harp the importance of arriving to class on time. Has someone been caught texting in the back of the room? The dramatic will feel obligated to follow ‘the code’. Step one: stop teaching, everyone needs to know about this one student. Step two: call the culprit out. This is your domain. How dare they disrespect you in your kingdom? Step three: Interrogate said student under the hot lamp. Be sure to sprinkle in several rhetorical questions, such as the obvious, ‘Why are you texting in my class?’ And remember, always cut them off! Only your word shall be heard. Step four: Has it been ten (+) minutes yet? Alright, ask them to leave. Step five: Admire your work as the culprit bows their head in shame and leaves your presence. Work well done. Summarize the events to the class and continue teaching. The dramatic is the professor who feels threatened by any attention s/he is not receiving and does everything within their power to gain back dominance. This professor will change the brave student’s mindset. Simply put, Challenge accepted.
The name doesn’t sound too promising, but this is a professor you wouldn’t mind having. The clown always tries to entertain the class in some fashion. Whether it be that they’re naturally comedic or a nerdy goof, they will have you laughing. There are a few that try a tad bit above that threshold called desperation, but for the most part those who don’t get the responses they are after will just continue on teaching. The clown isn’t afraid to share a laugh with their students, even if it’s at their own expense. They tend to be the ones with age on them, softened over the years by their tender pupils. Nothing really gets to them, and you’ll enjoy this fact. They are the easy-going, laid-back professors who enjoy student interaction. You’ll never fear speaking up in their class, even over them. Unlike the dramatic (see above) a joke will usually replace a scolding in situations of late students or texting occurrences. They understand that their main objective as a professor is to teach those who want to learn, and don’t spend the time trying to reprimand the students who don’t seem interested. Their hair is usually gray enough without that added stress.
The Um… Chris? No John!
The Um… Chris? No John! professors are the ones who will never remember you. Period. Not on the first day, not on last. Don’t take offense, it’s not necessarily because they have no invested interest in getting to know you. Perhaps you’re just not very impressionable? No, of course that’s not it, you’re awesome. Anyway, this professor will leave you wondering how hard it can be to remember your name when you’re the only ‘X’ in the class. You could be the minority of the room, (in terms of race, gender, age, etc.) and s/he’ll still be fishing in the dark for names. It’s Tyrone, right? On occasion they’ll say a name that may offend you, be it that the name is stereotypical, or due to the name being reserved by that other ‘X’ in class. Try to brush it off, the world is still spinning. What needs to be remembered is that these professors generally have several (sometimes hundred) other students who they teach and perhaps they’re committing the names to memory one class at a time; your class is coming soon. You can possibly skip to the head of the line by standing out amongst your peers *cough* teacher’s pet *cough*. You’ll undoubtedly have several awkward moments with said professor as you run into one another at your local mart, and you’ll exclaim, “Hey Mr/s. Z”, and s/he’ll reply, “Hey… you.” At the end of the day, the professor does their job fairly well and that’s all that matters. Just don’t ask for a recommendation, they might put the wrong name on the letter.